My Future Husband

Now don't be jealous all you single women out there. He's ALLLL MINE!

A few friends and I decided to go to this place called Healy Pass one afternoon. Gary had been out there the day before and said it was absolutely beautiful. He had also met the farmer who owned a lot of the land out there and talked to him for about 45 minutes. His story of the farmer was amusing, but harmless. Well, off we go to Healy Pass and park the car by a beautiful river with a little stone bridge over it. Picturesque. When out of nowhere, this blue beat up Buick drives by us and starts to turn around. Gary says "Uh Oh!". I say what do you mean "Uh Oh!". Gary says, "Well, this is the farmer I met yesterday, and what I forgot to tell you about was that he said AT LEAST 20 times that all he wants out of life is a wife and kids. So beware when he walks up because I'm not sure of how many women he's actually been around.". And wouldn't you know it. He gets out of his car, shakes hands with Gary, BARELY acknowledges our other friend, Lucas, and comes straight over to me. You know how the French kiss on both cheeks? Well, he did that in the form of a hug. He hugged me on the right, really hard, and then let go only long enough to hug me on the left, equally as tight. He then placed himself between me and the guys and began his 100 questions. "Where are you from? What brings you to Ireland? How long are you in Ireland?" Now mind you-there's no time to actually answer any of the questions because he's firing them at me so fast. Not to mention, he has the srongest Irish accent I've heard so far and can barely understand him. At the same time he's looking me up and down, probably measuring me up for the wedding dress he has hanging in his bedroom closet. Just waiting for someone to come along who can fill it. Or WILL fill it. The questions continue. "How do you like Ireland? Do you think you could live here forever? Do you like farms? Do you have any sisters? How many sisters do you have? When are THEY coming to Ireland?". Now at this point, I'm backing up because he's also a very close talker and smells PUNGENTLY like sheep. I'm making eye contact with Gary and Lucas the whole time for help, and they're just laughing. Thanks guys. So finally, I stop the questions and tell the farmer I'm going to go take some pictures, and attempt to say good bye. The farmer turns to Gary and says, "Would you be so kind as to take a picture of us?". He takes MY camera out of my hands and hands it to Gary, grabs me around the waste and presses his head up against mine(I laughed because Mom always makes fun of Tamarra and I for doing that). Gary took one picture and then said " Oh no, the flash wasn't on, I need to take another one." I almost killed him. After the second picture, Gary offered for us to send the man a copy, but he could care less. He just wanted an excuse to hug me. We ended up finally prying ourselves away from him after another session of hugs.

If you look closely in the photo, this man's zipper is wide open and there's a huge hole in his sweater right over it. Another friend back at the Hostel refers to "My Farmer" as "Quick Draw" and said, after hearing the whole days events, "You could be the new EWE!" buh dun bum bum.

So no worries folks. I'm well taken care of over here. If you need me, I'll be over at the Healy Pass. At least I know I have options right?