A moment of compromise

On a positive note, I am doing really well with my new food changes. I haven't actually gone 100% raw yet, but I have maintained almost a completely vegan, gluten free, sugar free, caffeine and alcohol free diet. I say "almost" because this past week, I have been stressing hardcore over some personal issues and I broke down and drank coffee, had Easter candy, made homemade bread, ate cheese and sour cream and drank a bottle of wine. So I basically rebelled against every one of these changes in one week. Still...each "incident" was an isolated incident and has not repeated itself. I did not stuff myself full of any of these items, nor do I plan to.

I would say I'm eating approximately one cooked meal a day and the other two are raw. I was going to try and come up with some excuse as to why I'm not 100% raw yet, but realized I don't need to. I just wanted to! There! And I made the executive decision that I can actually eat whatever the f*** I want!

Warning: I am about to sound off on this subject, and it may get lengthy! :)

It's amazing isn't it? When we feel guilty for not meeting an expectation that we set for ourselves? It's actually pretty unbelievable really. The first day that I wanted to eat something cooked, after deciding I was going raw, I beat myself up for days for failing. FAILING! Failing? Failing what? Failing who? Failing me? That's ridiculous!

I don't know where this comes from. I want to say it's from all the people who challenge my vegetarianism CONSTANTLY! And I know I've touched on this before, but why do people feel the need to ask me many reasons about my not eating meat and try to either catch me in hypocrisy or argue my CHOICE? I don't ask anyone why they eat meat? But I can guarantee that my answer will always be a better one...because I choose not to. The word choose is critical here. We are all raised on the idea that we, as humans, eat meat. And so we do. And no matter what BS line is thrown out there about why humans eat meat, it's sad that it's not actually a conscious decision. 

Anyway, I will spare you the extra lengthiness that could be today's blog. All you need to know is that, standing in the grocery store today, feeling bad about making a decision to buy the smallest container of sour cream ever, I came to the realization that I have made strides in the changes in my diet and also my life. I celebrate my successes and allow myself a moment of compromise. I strive to pass up the dairy next time, or not even think about it altogether. And I know that is possible because this was the first time, in about 2 months, that I have been challenged with this decision.

Starting this detoxification has literally changed my whole life already. Aside from losing over 20 lbs so far, and, oh yea, by the way, having my skin start to heal (still has a long way to go, but definitely making progress), I have found an entire community of healthy people who make me feel like I'm not crazy. I spend hours reading books, watching documentaries and web surfing, soaking in the vast amounts of wisdom out there about health, consciousness and humanity. A lot of times, the information frustrates, confuses and even enrages me. But most of the time it brings tears to my eyes to see how many genuinely great people there are in this world.