I live a very nomadic lifestyle. For the last 2 years, I have been on the half and half plan...half the year in Alaska, half the year wherever else. In 2010/2011 it was Ohio/Connecticut/Massachusetts. 2011/2012 (this winter), it was Hawaii/Connecticut/Seattle.
But before the half and half plan, I had been in Ohio for two and a half years (although I moved 3 times). Before that-Ireland, Greece and Italy. Connecticut, Georgia, Kansas, Connecticut, Ohio. Massachusetts, Ohio, Michigan, Ohio, and New York City. That is in reverse order going back to Connecticut where I grew up. Even then, my parents moved us three different times and once to Ohio.
I move. This is what I do. I don't know if it's instinctual. I don't know if it's learned behavior from my parents. I don't know if it's boredom, or an unending curiosity and love of adventure. Maybe I was from a nomadic tribe in my past life. Maybe all of the above. What I do know though, is that it has become my career. Somehow, I have created a life where I don't live to work, but work to live. My focus has never really been on a financial career, but a career of self and world exploration. I have found ways to travel with practically nothing, and fully immerse myself in the environment I find myself in. I have met many wonderful people along the way and have such a diverse group of incredibly close friends all over the world. I love it.
But recently I have been craving a home base. A space that is not borrowed or shared with anyone else. A place I can "hang my hat" so to speak, but still keep the freedom of travel and exploration. This is a yearning I have been trying to ignore for a few years now because, quite honestly, I don't have time for it. Well, this week, I have made time.
I have made a decision to stay put. I know, I know...crazy notion, I know! It is actually a first for me, and I have to admit that I am a little bit terrified. I don't know how this will turn out and I can't even pretend to fantasize about what outcome I am looking for, because I don't know how to think outside the suitcase. It's a scary place to be for me, but also thrilling. I have made a decision in the healthy direction I want to be moving and I can't wait to see what comes of it. I had positive premonitions of 2012 and so far, it is turning out to be one of my favorite years.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
It's not personal...
When did this become the disclaimer for poor behavior? Don't people realize that when they start a sentence like that, we all know that whatever's next is going to hurt? It goes right along with, "I know how this is going to sound, but..." and, "Don't take this the wrong way...". Are you kidding me?
I've been practicing the lesson of not taking anything personally as instructed in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. But it is a very tough practice. Especially when people are excusing their bad behavior and judgements with disclaimers. I understand that if someone is going out of their way to hurt me, then it most likely has to do with their own issues. But the fact that another person would knowingly hurt me, is a hard pill to swallow even when I know it has nothing to do with me.
And on another subject, stating, "That's just the way I am", should not excuse ignorance. Just because you can admit it, does not mean you're excused. It's one thing to not know any better, it's another to know you SHOULD know better.
Can you tell I've had a good week? Not so much. It's been a painful week, but also a week filled with personal growth. I started a juice cleanse 3 days ago along with meditation and much contemplation, I have made some serious changes towards a healthier me. These changes have helped me realize that standing up for yourself isn't always easy or painless, but it's always necessary.
I've been practicing the lesson of not taking anything personally as instructed in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. But it is a very tough practice. Especially when people are excusing their bad behavior and judgements with disclaimers. I understand that if someone is going out of their way to hurt me, then it most likely has to do with their own issues. But the fact that another person would knowingly hurt me, is a hard pill to swallow even when I know it has nothing to do with me.
And on another subject, stating, "That's just the way I am", should not excuse ignorance. Just because you can admit it, does not mean you're excused. It's one thing to not know any better, it's another to know you SHOULD know better.
Can you tell I've had a good week? Not so much. It's been a painful week, but also a week filled with personal growth. I started a juice cleanse 3 days ago along with meditation and much contemplation, I have made some serious changes towards a healthier me. These changes have helped me realize that standing up for yourself isn't always easy or painless, but it's always necessary.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
A moment of compromise
On a positive note, I am doing really well with my new food changes. I haven't actually gone 100% raw yet, but I have maintained almost a completely vegan, gluten free, sugar free, caffeine and alcohol free diet. I say "almost" because this past week, I have been stressing hardcore over some personal issues and I broke down and drank coffee, had Easter candy, made homemade bread, ate cheese and sour cream and drank a bottle of wine. So I basically rebelled against every one of these changes in one week. Still...each "incident" was an isolated incident and has not repeated itself. I did not stuff myself full of any of these items, nor do I plan to.
I would say I'm eating approximately one cooked meal a day and the other two are raw. I was going to try and come up with some excuse as to why I'm not 100% raw yet, but realized I don't need to. I just wanted to! There! And I made the executive decision that I can actually eat whatever the f*** I want!
Warning: I am about to sound off on this subject, and it may get lengthy! :)
It's amazing isn't it? When we feel guilty for not meeting an expectation that we set for ourselves? It's actually pretty unbelievable really. The first day that I wanted to eat something cooked, after deciding I was going raw, I beat myself up for days for failing. FAILING! Failing? Failing what? Failing who? Failing me? That's ridiculous!
I don't know where this comes from. I want to say it's from all the people who challenge my vegetarianism CONSTANTLY! And I know I've touched on this before, but why do people feel the need to ask me many reasons about my not eating meat and try to either catch me in hypocrisy or argue my CHOICE? I don't ask anyone why they eat meat? But I can guarantee that my answer will always be a better one...because I choose not to. The word choose is critical here. We are all raised on the idea that we, as humans, eat meat. And so we do. And no matter what BS line is thrown out there about why humans eat meat, it's sad that it's not actually a conscious decision.
Anyway, I will spare you the extra lengthiness that could be today's blog. All you need to know is that, standing in the grocery store today, feeling bad about making a decision to buy the smallest container of sour cream ever, I came to the realization that I have made strides in the changes in my diet and also my life. I celebrate my successes and allow myself a moment of compromise. I strive to pass up the dairy next time, or not even think about it altogether. And I know that is possible because this was the first time, in about 2 months, that I have been challenged with this decision.
Starting this detoxification has literally changed my whole life already. Aside from losing over 20 lbs so far, and, oh yea, by the way, having my skin start to heal (still has a long way to go, but definitely making progress), I have found an entire community of healthy people who make me feel like I'm not crazy. I spend hours reading books, watching documentaries and web surfing, soaking in the vast amounts of wisdom out there about health, consciousness and humanity. A lot of times, the information frustrates, confuses and even enrages me. But most of the time it brings tears to my eyes to see how many genuinely great people there are in this world.
I would say I'm eating approximately one cooked meal a day and the other two are raw. I was going to try and come up with some excuse as to why I'm not 100% raw yet, but realized I don't need to. I just wanted to! There! And I made the executive decision that I can actually eat whatever the f*** I want!
Warning: I am about to sound off on this subject, and it may get lengthy! :)
It's amazing isn't it? When we feel guilty for not meeting an expectation that we set for ourselves? It's actually pretty unbelievable really. The first day that I wanted to eat something cooked, after deciding I was going raw, I beat myself up for days for failing. FAILING! Failing? Failing what? Failing who? Failing me? That's ridiculous!
I don't know where this comes from. I want to say it's from all the people who challenge my vegetarianism CONSTANTLY! And I know I've touched on this before, but why do people feel the need to ask me many reasons about my not eating meat and try to either catch me in hypocrisy or argue my CHOICE? I don't ask anyone why they eat meat? But I can guarantee that my answer will always be a better one...because I choose not to. The word choose is critical here. We are all raised on the idea that we, as humans, eat meat. And so we do. And no matter what BS line is thrown out there about why humans eat meat, it's sad that it's not actually a conscious decision.
Anyway, I will spare you the extra lengthiness that could be today's blog. All you need to know is that, standing in the grocery store today, feeling bad about making a decision to buy the smallest container of sour cream ever, I came to the realization that I have made strides in the changes in my diet and also my life. I celebrate my successes and allow myself a moment of compromise. I strive to pass up the dairy next time, or not even think about it altogether. And I know that is possible because this was the first time, in about 2 months, that I have been challenged with this decision.
Starting this detoxification has literally changed my whole life already. Aside from losing over 20 lbs so far, and, oh yea, by the way, having my skin start to heal (still has a long way to go, but definitely making progress), I have found an entire community of healthy people who make me feel like I'm not crazy. I spend hours reading books, watching documentaries and web surfing, soaking in the vast amounts of wisdom out there about health, consciousness and humanity. A lot of times, the information frustrates, confuses and even enrages me. But most of the time it brings tears to my eyes to see how many genuinely great people there are in this world.
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